For teens and parents, the adolescent years between ages 10 and 19 are a time of physical, emotional, and psychological change. As kids grow from childhood into adulthood, many parents often find themselves asking: Is this behavior normal? Why are they so moody? Am I doing the right thing?
According to Atlantic Health child and adolescent psychiatrist Joseph Stricker, MD, a child’s prefrontal cortex—the part of their brain that is responsible for decision-making, planning, and impulse control—is still developing, so the best way to support them is with patience, empathy, and a willingness to adapt your parenting approach.
“Adolescence is a time when children are exploring who they are and how they fit into the world,” he says. “This shift away from family and toward peers can sometimes be misinterpreted by parents as rejection or defiance. But it’s a natural and healthy part of growing up.”
Some of the most common behavioral changes include:
- Mood swings and irritability
- Desire for independence and autonomy
- Focus on friendships, peer opinions, and social acceptance
- Increased risk-taking and impulsive behaviors
- New interests in identity, clothing, music, and friend groups
- Need for privacy and alone time
Find a parenting style that works for you
Lasting relationships are built on trust, empathy, and open communication. This means really listening to what your teen is saying to you, being present and responsive, and maintaining clear values and boundaries.
According to Dr. Stricker, kids are more likely to listen to you as a parent if you’re also taking time to listen to them. Here are some other strategies he recommends:
1. Practice child-centered communication
Set aside regular time to be with your child without an agenda. This could be during a shared activity like going for a walk or grabbing ice cream. The goal is to follow their lead in conversation so you hear what they’re sharing without trying to solve, judge, or redirect.
2. Ask the right questions
When you need to ask questions, stick with who, what, where, or when. Avoid “why,” which can feel accusatory. Ask open-ended questions that encourage conversation and reflect what you hear to show you’re listening. Your tone matters, too, so speak with a calm voice, and avoid sarcasm or yelling.
3. Reverse the attention cycle
Sometimes kids receive more attention for misbehavior than for doing what’s expected. Shift this balance by catching them being good and praising them for it. Things as simple as recognizing them for getting their homework done or helping without being asked go a long way.
4. Adopt an authoritative parenting approach
Research shows that an authoritative parenting style that balances warmth, responsiveness, and consistent expectations delivers the best results. It fosters open dialogue with your teenager, encourages independence, and creates a strong parent-child bond.
When to talk to your doctor
If your teen shows persistent signs of low mood, behavior changes, or serious withdrawal, it’s time to reach out for help. Even changes in hygiene, eating habits, sleep patterns, or academic performance can be symptoms of depression or other mental health concerns—especially if the behaviors seem to continue for weeks or months.
“Parenting an adolescent is not about having all the answers—it’s about creating space for dialogue, being present, and recognizing the developmental shifts your child is experiencing,” says Dr. Stricker. “Even simple changes in how we listen and respond can make a big impact on our children's sense of connection, safety, and confidence.”
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